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This post is part of a series on celebrity spokespeople who ended up doing serious harm to the brands they were hired to promote, or vice versa. See how we rank the 20 top spokesperson fiascos.

Hip-hop/R&B artist Akon is the only person to have twice held both the first and second spots on the Billboard Hot 100 simultaneously. Winner of a Grammy for his hit "Smack That", he has expanded his repertoire to include producing music and founding his own music production and distribution companies. Such a popular entertainer and entrepreneur would obviously be attractive to a company such as Verizon (NSYE:VZ), looking to hook into the cell-addicted young American.

Akon brought strong ties to the world market, too. Born in Senegal, and raised in New Jersey, a Muslim rumored to have wed multiple women, his exotic background added to his appeal.

Unfortunately, for Verizon, his background failed to properly prepare him to control his on-stage antics or properly estimate the age of his audience. In April of 2007, during a set in Trinidad and Tobago, Akon invited a young lady onto the stage to join him in a simulated sex routine. Unfortunately, the lady proved to be the 15-year-old daughter of a minister. Even more unfortunately, for Akon and Verizon, Akon's film crew recorded the incident and uploaded it to the web, where it drew great public censure. Shortly thereafter, Verizon pulled its sponsorship of Akon's Sweet Escape tour and quit offering his music as ring tones.

Akon's song "Sorry, Blame it On Me," is an apology to the young lady at the center of the scandal. Verizon is still waiting for its song of apology.

Read the entire series

This post is part of a series on celebrity spokespeople who ended up doing serious harm to the brands they were hired to promote, or vice versa. See how we rank the 20 top spokesperson fiascos.

In 1987, Anheuser-Busch (NYSE:BUD) was featuring renown musicians such as Stevie Winwood and Phil Collins in a "The Night Belongs to Michelob" ad campaign. I'm sure the ad hacks in charge thought they'd had a stroke of genius when they conceived of using Eric "Slowhand" Clapton, performing his hit "After Midnight", as part of the series. 1 a.m., guitar god, and Michelob; seems like a natural, right?

I can't help but think that someone should have checked on Clapton's habits before launching the ad. Having fought well-publicized heroin addiction and a taste for cocaine, Clapton revealed to Rolling Stone that at the time of the ad's release he was in a detox facility. Battling alcoholism. His nights belonged to imaginary snakes rather than dirty-dancing runway models.

My suggestion? I'd steer clear of junkies as spokespersons, unless I was selling needles, smack or size 0 dresses. The image of spokespeople puking their guts out doesn't make me yearn for a beer.

Read the entire series

This post is part of a series on celebrity spokespeople who ended up doing serious harm to the brands they were hired to promote, or vice versa. See how we rank the 20 top spokesperson fiascos.

Companies wishing to appeal to sensory-overloaded customers sometimes have to swallow hard and sign edgy spokespersons (I'm looking at you, Pepsi). But what could go wrong for UNICEF Belgium, the local arm of the United Nations Children's Fund, in adopting the beloved Smurfs as its spokescreatures?

Plenty, it turns out, when the Fund decided to use the Smurfs to shake people out of their complacency about the plight of the soldier children of Africa. To this end, they created an ad that ran (briefly) on Belgian television, showing the air-bombing and destruction of a smurf village, including the collateral blue damage. The tiny azure baby wailing amidst bomb craters and smurf corpses was an especially compelling touch.

Apparently, when the ad ran on Belgian television during the evening news, it left the audience in smurfy shock. According to a UNICEF Belgium spokesman, controversy was its goal, but the chief reaction to the snufftoon seems to have come from an amazingly large populace of smurf-haters, who have plastered the video across the Internet. The moral? When you adopt a warm fuzzy spokesthingy, injure it at your own peril.

Read the entire series

A private equity group unfamiliar to the stock market world claims to have made a bid to acquire struggling donut maker Krispy Kreme (NYSE:KKD). According to The Winston-Salem Journal, MGL Asset Management Group has offered $7.25 a share for the company, a premium of almost $2 a share over its closing price Monday.

The mystery surrounding MGL, its assets, ownership and ambitions have caused some to meet the proposal with skepticism. The company provides almost no information on its web site, and its spokesperson told the Journal that the bid was legit, but declined to elaborate.

The skepticism about this offer seems to stem from the wisdom and timing of such an acquisition. Although KKD just reported its first profitable quarter in over three years, overall, since selling in the $50 range before the carb craze, it has waffled ever since below the $10 mark, bottoming out at $2.50 a share just last November.

At a shareholder meeting recently, the CEO of Krispy Kreme reiterated the company's plans to build international business and increase the range of snack foods sold in convenience stores. Neither option, in my opinion, is likely to have a strong impact on the company's bottom line in the near future, if at all. One profitable quarter after three and a half years of losses in a company with a tired brand doesn't whet my appetite.

I wonder what drives MGL's interest? Perhaps they're looking at the hole picture, with a glazed look in their eyes.

Burger King (Burger King Holdings, NYSE:BRC) has made good headway recently by constructing sandwiches large enough to bring down a New York crane and marketing tied to video games and hot movies. Therefore, it would have been the last company I would expect to unveil a $190 hamburger.

Actually, the burgers aren't widely available, yet- only in one location, in West London, and only once a week, by reservation. I suppose the burger, Wagyu beef piled high with white truffles, Pata Negra ham, white wine/shallot mayo, Himalayan rock salt and a soupçon of Iranian saffron. The combo includes Cristal champagne onion straws, a limited edition bottle of Coke, and Cabernet Shiraz wine from Australia .

Emma Hall, who reported on the experience for Ad Age, found the meat 'not perfect', due to the health code's requirement that it be cooked to 165 degrees, but liked the mayo, ham and truffles. Other diners she interviewed were pleased, but mostly not $190 worth of pleased. Personally, for $190 I'd expect the King to detail my car while I ate.

This mother of all burgers was created as a PR stunt to help recast the BK brand as a higher-quality product, with proceeds benefiting a local charity. The company plans to expand the limited-time program to Spain and Germany. For now, I'll have to drown my longing in a Whopper, sans truffles, sans saffron, and Cristal-free fries.

File this under Only in America; the recently-passed national transportation bill includes $42 million to fund further research on a proposed Anaheim to Las Vegas (Disneyland to Casinoland) magnetic levitation high-speed rail system, designed to whisk the entertainment-starved between the two spots at speeds up to 310 mph. I can just see parents loading the kids on the Maglev and shipping them off to Disneyland (Walt Disney, NYSE:DIS) while Mom and Dad hit the craps tables in Sin City.

This funding, of course, is only a drop in the enormous bucket of this cutting-edge technology. The final cost to construct the system is currently estimated at $12 billion. Imagine the ticket prices- even more than entry to Disneyland, including refreshments!

The technology, which has been under study for more than 20 years, has been proven in a number of demonstration project and is currently in use in several sites, most notably a 19-mile stretch in Shanghai, China. The advent of superconductors has helped the technology leap forward, and many countries have preliminary plans to construct the systems. In the U.S., various groups are promoting maglev lines connecting Baltimore and D.C., San Diego to a new proposed airport, through the Pittsburgh area, and Atlanta to Chattanooga.

Part of the high cost of such system stems from the need to construct new corridors; maglev trains don't operate on rail, but rather float over a different type of rail on a cushion of air maintained by magnetic repulsion. In this respect, finding a corridor across the southern desert should be easier than in densely inhabited areas.

However, I have to wonder if this makes financial sense. Assuming a round-trip price similar to that of an airline ($172 at this moment on Delta), just to gross $12 billion, this train would have to carry 10,000 passengers a day, every day for 20 years. To net $12 billion, the number would probably be, who know? 100,000 a day?

With countries around the world preparing to build their own demonstration projects, wouldn't it be smarter to learn on their dime, and wait until the economies of scale are in our favor before building such a costly system?

And do you suppose our money could be better spent connecting sites of less ephemeral value? In this instance, I wouldn't mind if what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas.

This post is part of our Big Company, Small Town series, featuring large companies and the small towns in which they are headquartered.

The town of Orrville sits on the northern edge of the Ohio Amish area, and has that same bucolic feel. A friendly town that once was no more than a railroad stop for the agriculture, and a bedroom community for the heavy industries, of Wooster and Massillon, it is now best known as the jam capital of America, the home of the big (and growing) J.M. Smucker Company (NYSE: SJM).

Smucker has more than just its office in Orrville. For over 100 years, it has made jam in its factory right in the center of town. Of the 8,500 Orrville residents, 1,100 currently work for Smucker. It also operates the Simply Smucker's store in town, where visitors can view 350 varieties of Smucker's products, some available for taste-testing.

Since its fortunes and Orrville's are intertwined, it's fortunate for the community that Smucker appears on Fortune magazine's annual list of the top 100 companies to work for year after year, even finishing number one in 2004. The company is also known for its local charitable contributions. This year, for example, Smucker and its employees provided almost half of all funds raised by the United Way of Orrville.

If you haven't checked out HBO's Flight of the Conchords, you're missing a wonderfully droll, clever series. The show follows the exploits of a pair of New Zealand musicians trying to break into the American music scene. Their song Business Time might provide a welcome break during your, er, business time.

This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

How to compare the two dominant pizza brands, Yum! Brands Inc.'s (NYSE: YUM) Pizza Hut vs. Domino's Pizza Inc. (NYSE: DPZ)?

Most annoying ads? The wing man series by Pizza Hut is a recent annoyance, but Domino's still, in my mind, has not lived down the ignominy of its Noid commercials in the 1980s.

Most obscene side-dishes? What in the hell are dipping strips? Like we don't realize they're just pizza dough with goo indistinguishable from the plaque clogging our arteries. Bad Pizza Hut! Bad!

Size? Pizza Hut -- 12,800 outlets in 90 countries. Domino's -- 8,624 outlets in 55 countries.

This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

Cold Stone Creamery vs. Dairy Queen? This is Liston vs. Ali, American Idol vs. 60 Minutes, Sacha Baron Cohen vs. Woody Allen. The young, brash upstart vs. the wily veteran champion. With butterfat.

Dairy Queen is, of course, the veteran. At 4,500 readily recognizable locations throughout the U.S., the Berkshire Hathaway (NYSE: BRK.A) company serves up a time-tested menu of coney dogs, Dilly Bars, and Blizzards at prices that the average Joe can afford. So what if the décor is 1980s, and its ice cream is to cream as bologna is to steak?

Cold Stone is the brash upstart, starting in 1988 in Tempe, Arizona. Owned by the privately-held Kahala Corp., it has grown to over 1,400 outlets in strip malls across the country. The super-premium product it serves is hand-scooped, full of butterfat and bounteous flavor. The price is also bounteous, though; in my neighborhood, a single scoop of vanilla on a wafer cone sets me back $3.58.

This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

In this corner, the clown. After years of taking shots to the stomach, McDonald's (NYSE: MCD) was thought to be on the ropes, but has found new life in tightened operations, successful product launches, and a new aggressiveness. It's currently in training to take on the coffee-weight champ, Starbucks (NASDAQ: SBUX), in a no-holds-barred battle of the baristas.

In the other corner, the King. Burger King (NYSE: BKC), the burger chain with the creepiest ad campaign on television (what's with the young dude waking up to find the King in bed with him?) has thrived on a two-pronged approach; over-the-top menu items and movie/game tie-ins. BK hit the breakfast market hard with its enormous omelet sandwich, packing a wallop of 730 calories. Its Xbox game tie-in, a cheap game featuring the King was an enormous success, setting a trend that has been widely adopted.

Both chains are thriving as the third of the troika, Wendy's, continues to punch beneath its weight. With a three-year growth of almost 100% in its stock price, though, this bout clearing goes to the clown, on points.

Vote in our poll for McDonald's or Burger King as your preferred brand, and let us know in the comments why you love it.

This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

Among the phrases that mystify me is "Too sweet" -- I was born with 28 sweet teeth. The sweetener holder in most restaurants today holds at least two different ersatz sugars; Sweet'N Low and Splenda. Which is better?

Sweet'N Low has the history. It first came on the market back in 1957 when the key ingredient, saccharin was packaged in the same single-serving sleeves used for sugar. It is still owned by the originators, privately held Cumberland Packing Group. Although the intensely sweet saccharin had been around since the start of the century, it took Sweet'N Low marketing and an increasing focus on the nation's waistline to popularize it.

The product's primary advantage is cost; a packet sells for slightly over a penny a serving. Downsides include bitterness that some users distinguish, and the inability to use it in baking and cooking, as it breaks down under heat.

This post is part of our Battle of the Brands feature. Let us know which brand you prefer, and check out other Battle of the Brands posts.

For two companies with similar backgrounds, Toyota Motor Corp. (NYSE: TM) and Honda Motor Co. (NYSE: HMC) have grown markedly different. Toyota has taken a vertical approach to become arguably the world's premier brand in combining high volume sales with high-quality products. Honda has taken a much more horizontal route, dipping its feet successfully into a wide range of products.

In 2007 Toyota passed Ford Motor Co. (NYSE: F) as the world's second largest auto manufacturer. However, some question whether this victory came at the sacrifice of quality; Consumer Reports, which had consistently rated the company's cars at the top of its quality rankings, declined to recommend many of its models due to concern about slipping reliability. Its secondary line of autos, the Scion, which is targeted to a younger driver, is still scrambling for traction in this crowded field.

Honda's horizontal approach has taken it into farm and garden equipment, lawn mowers, motorcycles, even airplanes and soybeans. However, four-wheeled vehicles remain its core industry. Toyota's quality stumbles have opened up the field for Honda's reliable, affordable if unsexy lineup. The new subcompact Fit has replaced the Civic at the bottom of its price structure.

If Boeing (NYSE: BA) were writing for BloggingStocks:

We have a great article for you; the best you've ever read. It will save you a ton of money, bring back your youth, enlarge your penis or bust line, cure cancer, solve global warming, eliminate the national debt, provide jobs to all Americans, is family-values friendly, tastes delicious but is calorie-free, is hilarious without demeaning any race or sex, and will remain relevant for at least the next twenty years.

Unfortunately, posting of this article will be delayed due to a worldwide shortage of ampersands and the outsourcing of verbs to China. Look for this article in the first third quarter of 2008 2009, although we're happy to take orders (and prepayment) for it at any time.

Until then, you'll have to be satisfied with more of our same old bologna. But the article will be worth the wait. And don't pay any attention to those Europeans promising just as good an article. They don't even speak our lingua franca, do they?

Determined to bring a more formal, stylish fashion to the U.S. Olympic team garb for the Beijing games later this year, the Olympic committee has dumped Roots Ltd. in favor of Polo Ralph Lauren Corp. (NYSE: RL). According to The Wall Street Journal [subscription], Tom Brokaw, former NBC news anchor, was asked by USOC COO Norman Bellingham to approach Ralph Lauren about the possible affiliation.

The deal, which also includes the Paralympics, builds on the company's growing affiliation with sports events, including the U.S. Open and Winbledon, and should result in a terrific boost to sales at both its own boutiques and other retailers with whom it is negotiating distribution.

The designs will supposedly evoke the styles of the film Chariots of Fire. The duds will be kept under wraps until the opening ceremonies in August, although the many Chinese who will probably sew the garments will have a good idea of what to expect. I'll be interested to see if the Chinese government's clampdown on counterfeit goods successfully keeps fake U.S. uniforms off of the streets of Beijing before the games even began.

The line of consumer clothing to be spun off the Olympic garb should dovetail nicely into Lauren's line and burnish its image, although it will be interesting to see at what price point this line will fall. The equalitarian nature of the Olympic sport may not be reflected in the cost of dressing like our champions.